To Be or Not To Be....?

Dear bloggie,

Evening darling~ How are you this cooling yet warm evening? (lol) I actually had my great time at college with the barbecue and even before that, the DRAMA >_>


July

4th ~> Class was great... Quiz wasn't that.. Had only 12/15 which i think was ok ok la... Seeing me that i only started last night *grin*~ Then later in the evening at about 5pm, went for this American Independence Par-Te (?) which was pretty cool but before the Par-Te, there were speeches by *wind blows my sisters curtain* <~ Eh? It's REALLY cooling tonight! XD Anyway, back to speech. It was by some American guy ^_^'' don't know his name... seriously. After that was a tiny play by sean (chua), nick (someone >_>), grace (the small), fook ning (the smiley) and jojo and her friend. It was kinda screwy because there was no planning. Not very surprised since it kept changing every 5 minutes... Poor Leit had to like, "Eh wait wait wait...! Here is when you ____ and then ____ before ____," and it goes over like 6 times.

In the evening, after all the speech and stuff, we had barbecue =3 haven't had it since MaMa knows when ~ Melmel, Yvey and I end up helping the Fayette girls since they were short of hand ^_^ it was fun; helping with the food unlike buffet and the food goes all over the place. After food was talking talking and a lot of talking. A nice performance (singing) by one of my juniors from high school, Aaron... or however he spells his >_< (so sorry...!) The talking was basically on the FIRE club thingy about how to make a little more money since we lost the bunch. Better known as replacing the lost =3 Next week same time same day is the Lecturers Day... Talking about that, i MUST collect the posters at the 5th floor since the receptionist was great! "Better by monday if not she'll ask 'why only they give me now etc," LOLZAH~ so thats good! XD i'll follow her plan.

After that was another performance by sean (chua), Leit (the small) another high school junior and Aaron. Was a nice one. I didn't know sean could dance! He never did in school! After that, shaking of booty time~ I really didn't and don't get why ppl are shy to move. It's just so hard to dance. I ended up pairing with Melmel. NOTHING FURTHER. WE DANCED *full stop* you nasty readers. Was really really good~ I don't have much reason to dance at home because i want a pair to dance with... T^T daniel fails in that >_> I LOVE shaking. Wish i had the motivation to just practice! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH... Yvey, Melmel and Iylia had to just dump me at 9pm and ten minutes after they left, i followed =3 (I WAS BORED, I HAD NO PARTNER.). And now i'm after my shower typing a whole short essay about what happened. Not everything, but better than nothing =3


It's not really about the dance and all but, i received a really sad sms when i was in news reporting class which i was already not feeling well so much so that i felt like leaving for home earlier and forgetting about the Par-Te... Daniel couldn't make it just now. He was stuck playing his CS. Sometimes i don't know if the game is more important than me. But yet i know its not. He loves me more than it (or i think) but he said its his last game he'll be playing... I really wished he would come. I really wish he was here. I see couples there just now cuddling a little and holding and a little touching and i was pretty jealous. Since he came back from Miri, we didn't get much chances to sit down and really talk. We ended up cleaning up my room or he'll end up sleeping all the time. It really hurts thinking about this now but i don't wanna keep it all inside either. I don't want him to come tomorrow because i don't want him to waste his money just to come over to my place for a night and 2 days then leave. Things aren't getting any cheaper and he's not working anymore.... I really know that he misses me as well but... Sometimes i just wanna be selfish and think that i have a point in what i say as well. He insist on coming over tomorrow but i don't know what time or when. He had his finals just now and came in 2nd. He wasn't very happy about but (whatever). Right after that he said he needed a nap. He's been working hard. I don't wanna add the burden...

I'm being very frank here and i'm saying so much now that i really miss him. Sometimes i sit down and wonder what these guys are thinking. I know they're missing their other yet they're like so ego about that (i realize that my sentences today is REALLY REALLY SHORT). I want a long relaxation time with him. The hugs and kisses. Hugs are good enough for me too. The confusion cloud is so above my head now. I don't him to come over tomorrow, but i want him to come as well. I want to tell him off but, i don't have the heart to. I want to cry, but i don't wanna cry at the same time.

Does he know how i feel now?